The Comeback

September 15, 2010

Scott J. Capozza, MS, PT

“Can I still run while I’m on chemo?”

That was the first question I asked my oncologist in our pre-treatment meeting in late May 1999. I had already undergone two surgeries to remove a cancerous testicle and cancerous lymph nodes. Because the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes, there was a risk that there could still be some cancer cells hiding out in my body. Chemotherapy would be the best way to knock out any cancer cells that were still hanging around.

I had lost a lot of strength and endurance as a result of my surgeries. I was able to run my first marathon just a few months before; now, it was a struggle to make it through even one or two miles. I have been a runner since I was 14 years old. Running was my identity. If somebody asked me who I was, I would say “I’m a runner.” Sure, at that time, I was also a grad student, a son, a brother, a Red Sox fan (and back in 1999, it was tough to identify yourself as a Red Sox fan), but “runner” always came first.

My oncologist looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language. I don’t think he had ever had anyone ask him if they could run or do any kind of exercise while on chemo. This was still about 6 weeks before Lance Armstrong made his post cancer comeback in the Tour de France, so most cancer patients weren’t feeling too inspired to get out of their chemo chairs and get moving. But he humored me; “Don’t go out and train for any marathons,” he said, but essentially, if I felt OK, then I could run.

In 2010, the American College of Sports Medicine came out with a definitive call to action for cancer survivors and their health care providers. Their board of experts determined that not only should cancer survivors engage in physical activity, they went further to identify side effects of specific treatments for specific cancers and what can be done to address those issues. Prostate cancer survivors who are on ADT should be careful of fractures. Breast cancer survivors need to strengthen the muscles of the shoulder girdle. All survivors should strive for 30 minutes of cardiovascular exercise five times a week.

I didn’t have the benefit of having that report to back me up in my desire to return to running. I just knew that I had to run. For me, if I could run, then I was beating the cancer; the cancer was not controlling me, I was in control, doing something that I loved to do. Running made me feel like a human being again, and not a sick human being. I needed to run for the emotional aspect of maintaining my identify as much as I needed to run for my physical health. A simple three mile run made me feel, well, like me.

When my chemo ended at the end of the summer, I started training again for a marathon. My goal was to run 3 hours and 10 minutes to try to qualify for the Boston Marathon. When I ran, I was lighter (I had lost 20 pounds off of my 140 pound frame going through all of my treatments), and I was more determined than ever to make every run count. I ran in the rain. I ran in the snow. I ran at night. And I had never felt so alive.

I trained all fall and winter. I picked out the Hyannis marathon in late February 2000 in Cape Cod. Three of my friends that I had run cross country with in college came up to run with me and help pace me through the marathon. The gun went off; I was excited, nervous, and happy all at once to be racing again. My first mile was a minute slower than I needed to run for my goal pace. I started to freak out, but my friends calmed me down, told me to get into my rhythm, and I would be OK. I went through the half marathon mark at 1:34. I thought to myself, this is great, I just need to hold this pace and I’ll make it. In the last mile, I knew I was going to make it. I came across the line in 3:08 -- I had qualified for Boston by two minutes!

I’m not ashamed to say that I cried when I finished. All of my time in the hospital, all of the days I was on chemo, the nausea and baldness, the anger and frustration of being a cancer patient, was all behind me now. I felt like I had truly overcome cancer by qualifying that day. For me, my physical comeback from cancer was complete.